Stress is a part of life for technical professionals. The 24/7 work culture in many organizations and ever-present deadlines have long been a challenge in STEM. Last-minute changes right before a deadline, code bugs, and field and plant emergencies that need to be fixed yesterday are often facts of life in your STEM career.
Burnout is epidemic, with 57% of tech women reporting burnout. Emerging and current leaders are particularly vulnerable to burnout, with 60% of all genders reporting daily symptoms of burnout.
Some individuals and leaders accept high stress and burnout symptoms as something to power through. They believe if they work harder and are more productive, they will someday have time for better self-care and stress management practices.
I have been there. I've packed on the weight and snipped at my kids for interrupting my (overtime) work time. There were years where one skipped workout led to another and then another, and I told myself it was more important to get more work done.
That led me down the path of low energy, illness, and loss of enjoyment for the work I once loved.
Even my favorite holiday season – Christmas – became a drag. All I could think about was how shopping for gifts was another thing to be checked off my to-do list that I didn't have time for during the end-of-year deadline crunch.
That doesn't have to be YOUR fate.
Recently, I had the pleasure of interviewing Lennis Perez, a chemical engineer who is also a wellness engineer. She knows what it is to have a demanding career and struggle with wellness and has made it her purpose to help other STEM professionals manage stress.
She also had numerous tips for how to fit self-care practices into your day, even if you've got no time to do so.
Watch the full interview by clicking on the graphic below or read on for a summary in this blog.
Before reading on, please note: sometimes it's imperative to get help from a licensed mental health professional. This blog focuses on stress management basics and is not medical advice. Although this advice is "from the trenches" of two women in STEM, neither Lennis nor I are licensed mental health professionals. Please consult with a licensed professional if you are struggling with burnout, depression, anxiety, or other mental health challenges so you can get the help you need and thrive in your STEM career!
THE #1 STRESS MANAGEMENT MYTH
As a current or emerging leader, you always have more work to do than hours in the day. Acceptance – rather than fighting this fact – empowers you to focus on the unique value you provide in your work.
Lennis notes that it’s a myth that you need to have a lot of time for stress management.
Strengthening your stress management muscle is like any other muscle in your body. Consistent daily practice builds muscle over time.
Consistent practice means you'll be more able to deal with and recover more quickly from the stressors in your life. Just like you wouldn't go from couch potato to marathon runner overnight, Lennis recommends approaching stress management – especially if you're already struggling – from a "baby steps" approach.
Empathy and kindness towards yourself are essential, Lennis shared. The person you spend the most time with is yourself. What is your internal self-talk saying about you?
As one example, what are your thoughts when you wake up?
High-stress thoughts include:
All the things you didn't get done yesterday
That you're going to be late for work
That you have to accomplish x, x, and x
What if I don't get everything on my list done today
I slept in and missed the gym again
Low-stress thoughts include:
How grateful you are to be alive
How excited you are for the work you get to do today
How you can make this the best day ever
What you might learn today, even if things don't work out as planned
How you're not going to worry about missing the gym because you can fit in a quick walk instead
Empathy for yourself is required to demonstrate compassion for others – a key leadership characteristic.
You cannot pour from an empty cup. How can you give others your best self if you're empty and depleted? – Lennis Perez
THE ONE QUESTION TO ASK YOURSELF
If you're feeling overwhelmed and stressed out, Lennis recommended that you ask yourself this question:
What are you doing for yourself?
Make a list of the little things that bring you joy, and build them into your daily habits.
“I realized while asking this question to myself that a lot of the things I was doing were to prove myself to others, but there weren't a lot of things that I was doing for myself that I enjoy,” Lennis notes. “So, ask yourself, 'What are you doing that you really enjoy?' “
WHERE TO START WITH STRESS MANAGEMENT
It's a myth that stress management requires an extended vacation or spa day. Lennis shared where to start:
Fuel Your Body: Eat in a way that gives you energy for your day.
Sleep: Many STEM professionals are sleep deprived. Lack of sleep can have a similar effect on your brain as too much alcohol.
Move: A 2-minute dance break or walk around the block can do wonders for your immediate mental state. Sweating is even better for brain and body health; however, ANY movement you can incorporate is beneficial.
Hydration: Keeping your body hydrated allows your brain and body to function at maximum capacity with less stress.
Therapy: Seek help when you need it, especially if you're struggling with past or current traumas.
Environment: Who you surround yourself with matters, both at home and at work. Remove yourself or minimize exposure to toxic environments and the chronic, long-term stress they can cause
"Any toxic environment that I was in, I attempted to remove whenever possible. I started looking for a new job once I felt like this is not my environment; I prefer somewhere where I have more control over my schedule rather than somebody else set it for me. That's how I got into product management and sales."
– Lennis Perez
STRESS MANAGEMENT TOOLS:
Here's a list of stress management tools Lennis recommended during our interview:
#1 Focus on the basics (see the previous section)
Fuel your body, sleep, move, hydration, therapy, environment
#2 Meditation
"My favorite stress management tool is meditation." Lennis shared. Here are her favorite resources to get started:
Lennis' Guided Meditation: https://youtu.be/W0g9pA-5Sec
The Honest Guys YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheHonestGuys
Insight Timer: https://insighttimer.com/
Hay House App: https://www.discover.hayhouse.com/unlimitedaudioapp/
Chopra's 21-day meditation experience: https://chopracentermeditation.com/
#3 Cell phone reminders
Lennis uses reminders on her cell phone twice a day that say: "There's plenty of time." She notes both herself and her clients have found this helpful in tracking their priorities.
Other prompts you can use include:
Is what I am doing right now the highest and best use of my time at this moment?
What have you done for yourself today? (And if the answer is nothing, what can you do for yourself in the next 5 minutes?)
I personally use mindfulness reminders on my phone. Every three hours during the workday, I have a silent alarm that goes off, reminding me to take a 2-to-5-minute meditation or movement break. It's a small habit that keeps me grounded, focused and minimizes stress, especially when I repeat it right before a high-stakes meeting or presentation.
#4 Affirmations
Affirmations rewire your brain. Lennis notes there are many ways to use them so that you can see them daily. Examples include stickers on your mirror or computer, screensavers, and phone backgrounds.
I wrote an entire blog on affirmations that includes a download of my favorite affirmations, designed just for women in STEM. Check it out HERE.
"If you invest $5 today, there is a compounding effect. If you then invest $5 tomorrow and $5 the next day and $5 the following day, the compounding effect is going to be magnificent over time. That's how you start with self-care." - Lennis Perez
QUICK TIPS FOR THE OVERWHELMED
What if you're already overwhelmed, stressed, and feel like you have no time for self-care? Lennis shared five quick-start tips that even the busiest STEM professional can fit into their day:
Focus on the basics: Sleep, nutrition, hydration.
Pay attention to your body's signs: Your body and mind give you warning signals before you get sick from stress. Listen to your thoughts and what your body is telling you.
Just Say NO: Always feeling time-crunched often means you have too much on your plate. Look at your to-do list with a critical eye. What things can you say no to?
Know your work role and where you add the most value: What are the specific things you do at work that directly relate to success in your position (from your manager's perspective!) or otherwise add value. Offload, delegate, or say no to the rest.
Add ONE thing to start your day with something for you: Mediate, journal, walk or have a 5-minute reading session.
DEALING WITH STRESS AT WORK
Stress at work can come from many different places. Deadlines, difficult people, and dysfunctional communication contribute to high-stress levels. Lennis's top tip to reduce work stress is to practice setting boundaries.
Many technical professionals don't view setting boundaries as a form of self-care, Lennis notes. Further, we are often afraid to say no, as Lennis shares in her own experience:
"I felt that if I said no, I wouldn't be a team player. However, I was being a team player by really doing my job well, which is what I was hired for. The problem I see is setting boundaries, and I think we are so afraid of asking for those boundaries or being told no."
Lennis's tips for setting boundaries:
Get ahead of it. Immediately communicate when you feel deadlines are unrealistic or you are stretched too thin.
Don't be superwoman. Ask yourself, "Can this job realistically be done by one person or not? Can I handle it all without sacrificing other things that are important to me?" If not, then ask for help.
Avoid the automatic "yes." As team players, women in particular often default to "yes" before fully understanding the scope of the "yes." Think it over, understand the scope, and mindfully decide if you want to say "yes."
Click on the graphic below (start at 34:29) to hear a specific example of setting boundaries in Lennis's career.
Want to read more on how to set boundaries? Check out my blog “How to Set Healthy Boundaries for Women in STEM”
LEADERSHIP AND BURNOUT
Technical leaders are particularly prone to struggles with stress management and burnout themselves, particularly if you are also a caregiver in the home. I asked Lennis to share her thoughts on what organizations can do to help reduce the costs associated with attrition from burnout, especially when the leaders may be struggling with this themselves.
The first step, Lennis shares, is for leaders to understand the example they are setting. Consider:
Are you practicing empathy, such that anyone they work with feels encouraged to communicate?
Are you demonstrating, by example, preventative self-care practices, such as not sending emails during off-hours and on vacation, taking a lunch break, and having a life beyond work?
Have you established boundaries with clients and staff (example: no interruption times for you to get work done)?
Are roles and expectations clear and feedback routinely provided (which makes it easier to set priorities and boundaries)?
Research shows that empathy for others - considered the most important leadership trait according to this Forbes article - starts with empathy and being kind to yourself. Healthy stress management and daily self-care habits are essential components to cultivate that leadership capability.
"As a leader, what sort of example you are setting when it comes to self-care, and burnout, and empathy?" – Lennis Perez
To learn about Lennis Perez and her stress management and mindfulness programs, please get in touch with her at lennis @lennisperez.com or visit her website at https://www.lennisperez.com
